Come to me
when I'm at my weakest
Come to me
when I have failed
Come and see
me at my failure
I need you to see me
If you see me then
and you can still look me in the eye
If you see me then
and you still can love me more
If you see me then
and you still open the door to your heart
I know that you will always
remain
Come see me
when I'm broken
Come see me
when I'm angry
Come see me
when I'm so ashamed
Come see me
come see me
If you see me then
and you still hold your arms out for me
If you see me then
And you still call for me
If you see me then
and you pray over me
If you see me then
and you still love me
I know you will
remain
I know that if you can understand me
when I am broken
I know that if you can see the true me
even when I'm lost
I know that if you find me lovely
even when I feel like mess
I know that your love will remain
remain
I'll see you when
you're broken
I'll see you
when the world is crashing in
I'll see you
and I'll hold my arms out to you
I'll see you
and my love will
remain
-GCS 11
Friday, December 30, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
12 days
As of tomorrow there will be only 12 days left until I leave Cannon Beach for the second time. I left in 2010 to go after life and to try to figure everything out.. and well God led me back letting me know that He was not finished with me being here in CB. But this time I feel a pull... I felt a pull to leave at the end of the summer but I ignored it thinking I was just getting restless.. But then God gave me the opportunity to do what I love (acting) here in CB and I have met some amazing people because of being in Annie Get Your Gun at the Coaster Theatre. It although stressful and I complain way too much about it, but it has been a blessing to me... I though know that CBCC was going to be a stepping stone. I have known that since the first summer I worked here. I came back because it was an easy answer for unemployment. And I know that people have been trying to convince me to stay here and stay employed and pratically telling me I'm fool for leaving because the job market is soo terrible... I know that the job market is terrible. I know that it will be hard to find a job.. I'm not running into this blindfolded... I know. I feel like God is calling me to step out of this position.. into what.. I'm not sure. I don't know who my next employer will be... I don't know where I'll be in a few months or so... my goal right now is to move home, hopefully start school in the fall and obtain my associates degree... and from there who knows.. but I do know that whatever I'm doing wherever I am is because I feel like God wants me there for that time. CBCC has and is a blessing to me. I have grown up here and learned a lot more within this last year than any other time of my life. But, I'm ready for a change. I'm ready for God to lead me to the next adventure. Join me...
As the year comes to a close I'm reminded of the two words that I felt God speaking to me right before I came here in January of 2011... Run, and Light. I shared these two words with a friend and the vision that I had seen when I heard the word Light in January. She shared that when I was talking about the vision she thought of the Coaster Theatre and how everyone there is going through some trial or another and each one holds their own beleifs and such. And how she felt like it was Light that they needed. Guidance. When she was saying that I got a chill and I knew that it was something God was calling me to be.. A light for them. A light with the way I try to cheer people up, a light in the way I am acting... a light. I'm still not sure about the Run part... But I did come up with the idea.. that we are willing to run for soo many things in our life.. deadlines and tests.. etc.. but are we willing to Run for God? Are we willing to put our relationship with God as the first thing we Run for?
As the year comes to a close I'm reminded of the two words that I felt God speaking to me right before I came here in January of 2011... Run, and Light. I shared these two words with a friend and the vision that I had seen when I heard the word Light in January. She shared that when I was talking about the vision she thought of the Coaster Theatre and how everyone there is going through some trial or another and each one holds their own beleifs and such. And how she felt like it was Light that they needed. Guidance. When she was saying that I got a chill and I knew that it was something God was calling me to be.. A light for them. A light with the way I try to cheer people up, a light in the way I am acting... a light. I'm still not sure about the Run part... But I did come up with the idea.. that we are willing to run for soo many things in our life.. deadlines and tests.. etc.. but are we willing to Run for God? Are we willing to put our relationship with God as the first thing we Run for?
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Today this song stuck out to me... I've been in a lull.. I guess you could call it.. I have been lost.. But today I picked up my Bible and I opened and I decided that I needed to start reading it again instead of just skimming.. or finding the "right" verse... So God led me to read through Isaiah... Some of the things that have stuck out to me today from Isaiah were these exerpts out of certain verses.
"Wash yourselves and be clean! Let me no longer see your evil deeds. Give up your wicked ways. Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the orphan. Fight for the rights of widows." - Isaiah: 1:16-17
"Stop putting your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. How can they be of help to anyone?"
-Isaiah 2:22
"If you want me to protect you, learn to believe what I say" -Isaiah 7:9
"Do not think like everyone else does. Do not be afraid that some plan concieved behind closed doors will be the end of you." -Isaiah 8:11-12
http://youtu.be/4m_dP2n-5W8
"Wash yourselves and be clean! Let me no longer see your evil deeds. Give up your wicked ways. Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the orphan. Fight for the rights of widows." - Isaiah: 1:16-17
"Stop putting your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. How can they be of help to anyone?"
-Isaiah 2:22
"If you want me to protect you, learn to believe what I say" -Isaiah 7:9
"Do not think like everyone else does. Do not be afraid that some plan concieved behind closed doors will be the end of you." -Isaiah 8:11-12
http://youtu.be/4m_dP2n-5W8
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Deliver me...
There is hope
in God
There is hope in
His name
There is hope in
His arms
There is hope
in God
So Deliver me
Deliver me
from the sin
that has captured me
Deliver my soul
because I am to weak
O Lord, Deliver me
There is peace in
God
There is peace in
His name
There is peace in
His eyes
There is peace in
God
So Capture me
with Your love
Surround me with
Your peace
Bless me with
Your Grace
O Lord, Deliver me
I have strayed,
I have wandered
far from You
I have lied,
I have cheated
I have failed You
But here I am
on my face
Pleading for forgiveness
Here I am so ashamed
of my failure....
Please Deliver me
Deliver me
From the sin
that has captured me
Deliver my soul
because I am to weak
O Lord, Deliver me.
-GCS '11
Not that I deserve this forgiveness and mercy. Not because I have earned this love. But because my God is faithful and loves me.. even when I can't love me. He bestows His neverending love and mercy on me... even when I fail. He forgives me when I repent.. He knows my heart... He knows my faults and He loves me despite them. Sometimes I need to remind myself of this.. because I am guilty of sin... I do stupid things.. I say stupid things.. but God is my rock.. He guides me to a better path He shows me where I have stumbled and helps me rebuild relationships. I am so blessed to have such a loving Father.
in God
There is hope in
His name
There is hope in
His arms
There is hope
in God
So Deliver me
Deliver me
from the sin
that has captured me
Deliver my soul
because I am to weak
O Lord, Deliver me
There is peace in
God
There is peace in
His name
There is peace in
His eyes
There is peace in
God
So Capture me
with Your love
Surround me with
Your peace
Bless me with
Your Grace
O Lord, Deliver me
I have strayed,
I have wandered
far from You
I have lied,
I have cheated
I have failed You
But here I am
on my face
Pleading for forgiveness
Here I am so ashamed
of my failure....
Please Deliver me
Deliver me
From the sin
that has captured me
Deliver my soul
because I am to weak
O Lord, Deliver me.
-GCS '11
Not that I deserve this forgiveness and mercy. Not because I have earned this love. But because my God is faithful and loves me.. even when I can't love me. He bestows His neverending love and mercy on me... even when I fail. He forgives me when I repent.. He knows my heart... He knows my faults and He loves me despite them. Sometimes I need to remind myself of this.. because I am guilty of sin... I do stupid things.. I say stupid things.. but God is my rock.. He guides me to a better path He shows me where I have stumbled and helps me rebuild relationships. I am so blessed to have such a loving Father.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Darling
My Darling
When you look in the mirror and all you see is ugly
I see Beauty
My Sweetheart
When he yells at you and tells you that you are worthless, and you believe him.
I see Worth
My Beloved
When you cut yourself to feel
I see your Heart
My Child
When you cry yourself to sleep
I see You
You are worth more than words can express
My Love goes beyond your sins and beyond your suffering
I can feel your heart beat
I can count the hairs on your head
I find you worthy
I find you beautiful
I find you gorgeous
Let me define you
Let me become your mirror
Let me Love you
I was just thinking the other day about how we let ourselves lose track of the fact that there is a God who sees us as beautiful. Women and especially young women are easily tricked into believing that they are only worth how much a man decides they are. They are easily swayed into believing that they can not be strong and still be attractive. But God has a different perspective on things. He sees people for who they really are... He sees their faults and He heals the wounds that have been caused by hurt and hate people have pinned on each other. It breaks my heart to see young women who can barely look you in the face because of their pain and shame they feel for themselves. It breaks my heart to hear young girls talking about how they can't wait to get older so they can get plastic surgery to fix their "flaws." It breaks my heart to hear men yelling at their girlfriends or spouses and tearing them down, and the women just taking it and not finding their worth. It breaks my heart to see the scars that some girls and women have inflicted upon themselves in order to feel.. or to release their hurt... There so many young women out there who are so broken... the world takes them apart piece by piece labeling their "flaws," and telling them that they aren't beautiful. The world tells them that in order to be beautiful they need to wear certain clothes or weigh less... But God sees them each as beautiful, lovely, gorgeous, and pretty women. I pray that they find their worth in God.
When you look in the mirror and all you see is ugly
I see Beauty
My Sweetheart
When he yells at you and tells you that you are worthless, and you believe him.
I see Worth
My Beloved
When you cut yourself to feel
I see your Heart
My Child
When you cry yourself to sleep
I see You
You are worth more than words can express
My Love goes beyond your sins and beyond your suffering
I can feel your heart beat
I can count the hairs on your head
I find you worthy
I find you beautiful
I find you gorgeous
Let me define you
Let me become your mirror
Let me Love you
I was just thinking the other day about how we let ourselves lose track of the fact that there is a God who sees us as beautiful. Women and especially young women are easily tricked into believing that they are only worth how much a man decides they are. They are easily swayed into believing that they can not be strong and still be attractive. But God has a different perspective on things. He sees people for who they really are... He sees their faults and He heals the wounds that have been caused by hurt and hate people have pinned on each other. It breaks my heart to see young women who can barely look you in the face because of their pain and shame they feel for themselves. It breaks my heart to hear young girls talking about how they can't wait to get older so they can get plastic surgery to fix their "flaws." It breaks my heart to hear men yelling at their girlfriends or spouses and tearing them down, and the women just taking it and not finding their worth. It breaks my heart to see the scars that some girls and women have inflicted upon themselves in order to feel.. or to release their hurt... There so many young women out there who are so broken... the world takes them apart piece by piece labeling their "flaws," and telling them that they aren't beautiful. The world tells them that in order to be beautiful they need to wear certain clothes or weigh less... But God sees them each as beautiful, lovely, gorgeous, and pretty women. I pray that they find their worth in God.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
8 years
In 6 days it will be the 8 year anniversary of my mother passing away. To say that I miss her very much, would be an understatement. I find that I think about her randomly throughout each day. I think about how she would have loved to work here at Cannon Beach, how she would of thought a joke that I heard during the day was funny, or how she would have liked my friends. I think about how she loved people, she was shy but loving . I think about how she loved to cook for others and how she loved to put a smile on her kids faces. I think about how she loved little babies and how she would have adored my best friends son. I think about how she would be proud of all her kids. I miss her but I do know she's happy.
My mother was a strong, smart, and beautiful women. She loved God with all her heart, she loved her family with all her heart. I pray that I can reflect her in my actions and in my words. I pray that when I have a family that I will be the kind of mother to my children as she was to me.
My mother was a strong, smart, and beautiful women. She loved God with all her heart, she loved her family with all her heart. I pray that I can reflect her in my actions and in my words. I pray that when I have a family that I will be the kind of mother to my children as she was to me.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Girls...
Girls,
Compassion, and forgiveness, is something each and every generation struggles with. I guess this post could have addressed to both male and female... but I have been noticing this more and more in young girls. Wake up ladies... We are masters at holding grudges.. but that isn't something we should be proud of, is something that is a flaw. We are masters at teaching our children to do the same. Since we are teachers through our actions. Wake up! I see and hear ladies gossiping about the misfortune of another lady behind her back... I see grown women acting like 5 year olds giving people the silent treatment.. Wake up! The things we do now affect the next generation and even perhaps the next one. Do you want your petty issues and selfish and unforgiving actions to shape your daughters? Your grandaughters? I sure don't.. I know that my actions at times are just the same as the one's I have described.. I know that I struggle with forgivness and compassion.. But it is time to stop this foolishness.. and grow up. You can either be a child your whole life and be treated like one.. Or you grow up and be a good example to the next generation... Ladies it's time we act like "Ladies." It's time that we help eachother instead of watching eachother flounder and laugh and gossip about it. We are more than this, we know what is right and wrong.. It's time we start genuinely caring for one another.
-Sincerely A Changed Lady
Compassion, and forgiveness, is something each and every generation struggles with. I guess this post could have addressed to both male and female... but I have been noticing this more and more in young girls. Wake up ladies... We are masters at holding grudges.. but that isn't something we should be proud of, is something that is a flaw. We are masters at teaching our children to do the same. Since we are teachers through our actions. Wake up! I see and hear ladies gossiping about the misfortune of another lady behind her back... I see grown women acting like 5 year olds giving people the silent treatment.. Wake up! The things we do now affect the next generation and even perhaps the next one. Do you want your petty issues and selfish and unforgiving actions to shape your daughters? Your grandaughters? I sure don't.. I know that my actions at times are just the same as the one's I have described.. I know that I struggle with forgivness and compassion.. But it is time to stop this foolishness.. and grow up. You can either be a child your whole life and be treated like one.. Or you grow up and be a good example to the next generation... Ladies it's time we act like "Ladies." It's time that we help eachother instead of watching eachother flounder and laugh and gossip about it. We are more than this, we know what is right and wrong.. It's time we start genuinely caring for one another.
-Sincerely A Changed Lady
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