You bring Light

When the darkness surrounds me
I know You are there
You hear my cries
Even when I feel like
the dark is suffocating me
You provide my light
my air
You are constantly listening to my calls
You are always there to provide
You add light to my life
You are my God!
               -GCS

This picture was taken by me inside the Battery Russell at Fort Stevens it is of Brittany Kingshott one of the girls I work with.

A foolish idea

I have been following along with a newspaper article from The Daily News in Longview. It is about having a "Zombie Apocalypse," this Holloween. They will have a giant adult game of well... chase.. where zombies are chasing humans through all downtown Longview....

My heart is broken. I have never been one to shy away from gore movies or anything like that, but God has really convicted me about this "zombie apocalypse." This is wrong. I know that they are trying to pass it off as getting business for the down town area, but this not the right way to do so. Longview already has it's share of drug isues, domestic violence, and homelessness. We are a broken city. Everyday since this article was written in the newspaper I have been reading comments and really thinking about the idea. And everytime I feel so sad for my hometown. That this is the way they expect to gain business.

My generation is a mess. My classmates from high school are a mess. The next generation is getting even worse. We do not need this kind of influence. The anxiety issues amoung young adults in the past of couple of years has heightend more than used to be. Why do we need a whole bunch of foolish adults running through the streets of Longview being chased by ghoulish zombies. We aren't growing up. By doing this it shows how our society is fed by fear. I do admit, when I was high school I would have jumped at the opportunity to act like a zombie. But I do not think that it is a good idea to corrupt Longview even more.

I know many people will not agree with me. And who knows it might pass the city council and be something Longview does. But I will praying that it doesn't happen. We don't need this in our town. I do not support this at all.

Masters' Hand

Awhile ago I was looking through a journal thing my mother had kept. She had written many poems and ideas, and had drawn doodles throughout the whole thing, but one of the things that she wrote stuck with me. I'm not sure if she wrote this originally but there was no reference to anyone else.

"For the brief span of time spent on this earth
it should be that we have each moment contain a treasure
for our memories to recall with fondness
and to do this
we need to take hold of the Masters' hand
to follow into hidden sanctuaries of the depths of His heart
many riches are to be found there
kinds that moths and dust cannot corrupt
items that pass tests of fire
it is here we sit in leisurely repose
warming ourselves to His softly throbbing heartbeats
lying quiet in His strong embraces
inclining our ears to words of infinite wisdom
it is here that memories thrive
and our life takes on meaning
here is where wealth is found
adding quality to years spent dwelling apart from heaven
it is here that fondess is never lacking
for the brief span of time spent on this earth
it should be that we have each moment contain a treasure
and to do this- Take hold of the Masters' hand."

Pray

"Save me, O God,
for the flood waters are up to my neck.
Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire;
I can't find a foothold to stand on.
I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me.
I am exhausted from crying for help;
my throat is parched and dry.
My eyes are swollen with weeping,
waiting for my God to help me."
-Psalm 69:1-3

I was just flipping through Psalm the other day and I came across this passage. I was moved to tears from this. I kept thinking about the people in Japan and how this is their cry. I pray that they don't lose hope. God will be their refuge. Please.. Please keep these people in your prayers.

More than me

I was thinking lately about the title of my entire blog... "More than me.." I was thinking about how we often lose track of the fact that the world is not about us... My life, although mine should be about more than me... First and ultimately it should be about God. But it also should be about the people you encounter each and everyday, and what kind of impact you leave on them. I try to leave positive impact on others lives, but at times I'm foolish and I'm negative.. What a lot of people fail to recognize is that the words and actions that come from you, really do matter and they affect others. When you are always negative, people tend to shy away from you because negativity does not spark joy or affection. It is dull, and sad. I have to remind myself every so often that everything I do is for "More than me."

Stronghold

"He is jealous for me, loves like hurricane I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy."

He is jealous for me. He does not just give up one me, He fights for me. He doesn't just care for me, but He loves me with an incredible deep love that is completely unbreakable. The fears and regrets that I have held for so long, He wipes them away with his mercy and forgivness... I am not worthy, but He find worth in me. His love for me exceeds all other loves. I have been selfish and unkind and He still has been faithful. My God is amazing!!! He is my rock, my refuge.

Prayers

Oh Lord
it's me again
I have fallen from
Your plan
Everything around me
is falling through
and I am falling too

The sin I've committed
I know is foolishness
I have gotten in the way
too many times to count
and yet I fall and stumble over
my foolish acts
Please come
and put me upright again
and forgive me of my sin
Oh Lord

I've been fighting lately against my foolishness.. thoughts and actions that do not represent the Love of God. I am ashamed of the way I've treated people and the way I have treated God. My foolish thoughts and actions have not been pleasing to God, or honestly to myself. I find at times I catch myself being completely and udderly rude, and I don't like it. I am not that person. I guess at this momment in my life I could use some prayers. I need prayers for patience and for the love of God to shine out through me. That the mean and crude things that pop into my head just dissapear. I don't want to be the kind of person that goes around spreading rudeness and hurt. And I don't want my mind to keep telling me lies about myself and my worth. Please pray that i will find my complete joy and refuge in God. I have struggled with insecurities my whole life.. but right now I am feeling low. Prayers would be wonderful! Thank you.

Tsunami

It seems like there is a pattern in my blogs lately... Storms. This one though is about a Tsunami. As many of you know I live on the Oregon coast so on March 11th around 1:30 or so in the morning we flipped on our tv to see the news about the 8.9 earth quake that hit Japan and caused a Tsunami. And we were told that we were on official Tsunami Warning and we would most likely be evacuated. I honestly never thought that would happen.. sure it is always a possibility. But Cannon Beach was evacuated around 6ish in the morning and we were not allowed back into town until around noon. Crazy stuff. Please keep Japan in your prayers. Cannon Beach was hardely touched. But Japan is in bad condition.

Relationships

          I have found lately that many of my friends are searching. They are searching for relationships. I hear stories of heart break after heart break. I am not one to usually tell them to stop searching. Because truthfully I've been there. But I have decided that really it is not my place to search for the guy God has for me. God will lead him to me one day. Perhaps not now... I know it's hard to wait especially when you see your friends getting married and having children... You start to wonder if it will ever be your time. It will. But God doesn't want you to let the search consume you. What if we put all the energy that we spend searching after guys and put it into searching after God. And focus on a relationship with Him. If you don't have a strong relationship with God how do expect to enter into a strong relationship with a man? Man does not have all the answers that you are seeking. A guy can't fill void you feel. Only God.

Calm

The wind roars by my window
the rain pounds on the roof
the walls of this house trembles
And I remain calm

The strom rages against me
the gusts nearly knock me down
but I have a stronghold
I will remain calm

Your peace overflows
it fills every vein and bone
it seeps into my heart
and I am still

The cold creeps around me
the light turns to dark
the waves crash into me
And yet I am calm

The lies that taunt
try to decieve me
the hurt it tries to wound me
but You speak to me
"Remain Calm"
"I am with you."

-GCS 11